Tuesday, October 6, 2009

First Blog. A triumph. Even if it's meager.

I'm in the living room listening to Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People while my sister is listening to some spiritual-find-yourself-radio online in the next room over in our NYC apt. And we haven't left all day. The only outing that was planned for me today is to head to my therapist.

It's not that we don't have anything to do. I just quit my job teaching for the second time in 5 years. 27, and have officially resigned from the NYC DOE twice. Hence the name, Ms. Indecision. My college psychology professor named me that, and I can't tell if I resent him or respect him for it. (>cue drum/cymbal<). Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. I mean, hell, I've already been here all day.

I'm thrilled. I just looked at the date and time that will show up when I click "post" it says 12:22pm. It's 3:22pm here on the East Coast, but it makes me look even more go-getting than I actually am. Blogger.com people made this whole thing so easy to begin that you can set the whole thing up in a little under 5 min. I, of course, have found a way to take 6 years, 28 days, and 4 hours. The last four hours have been excruciating as I sat there and debated what title and url to choose. When I finally came up with it, it had already been taking. Let's just say, Plead Sanity wasn't my first choice, thanks to Mr. Temporary Sanity blogger. No, it's fine. Plead Sanity is almost as clever.

Why did I start this thing? It's because I saw Julie & Julia and suddenly thought I'd be a famous blogger, too. That's actually not totally why, but I can't lie that I left that movie feeling ready to take over the world. Oh, you know you thought the same thing. Meryl Streep is amazing in that movie. See it for her if you haven't. She makes me believe in a "life's calling." That brings me to why I started. I carry a journal with me like it's my emergency flotation device when my mood starts to go under. I've filled so many since the age of 7 that I can't even keep track of them. I'm sure my curious Indian mother can, however, as I've found a few of them in her dresser drawer. "Nosy relatives," she claimed, "could find them in my closet while staying as guests in my bedroom." I'm as bad at lying as she is, but I know that we both mean well. As I continue into year 27, I realize that I am still journaling, and still sketching, and think maybe another person facing moments of crisis will relate to the rhythms of sanity and sanity that pop up in my blog. I'm not sure of my life's calling, but I don't think I'll come close to finding it if I am to scared to answer to anything. Enter Blog.

No better place for me than a blank page (or screen) before me, where I can open that duality of my self, and tell myself what I am feeling or thinking and later respond to it. Today's blog start is a small triumph for me. But we should be proud of initial steps, as they are the wobbliest, the most unsure, and the most gratifying to walk once we gain our balance. Stephen R. Covey, eat your heart out.


  1. One small step for (wo)man, one giant leap for mankind...errr at least for me, your fellow worry-wart. Hilarious! I'll be checking back on the regular.

    p.s. You have to go to the settings to change your blog's clock to EST.

  2. Ms.Indecision.
    Teachers can make such an indelible mark sometimes - and not usually when they expect to make it. (How touchingly sad, those teachers who write their lesson plans with the clear intention of "making a difference today".) I had a high school teacher who called me "Clark Kent". He didn't mean to make that mark, but still.....

    and by the way - i think i hate steven covey. just put down the book, and slowly back away....

  3. Our generation struggles with indecisiveness, which is brought on by the multitudes of opportunities available to us...all obtainable, and thus all the more perplexing. If you know you can have anything you want, do you really know what you wanted?

  4. It was but a fleeting love affair. I can't stay present with Eckhart Tolle while setting a goal with Steven Covey. You're right, Mr. Kent and KO. I've backed away.