When we’re in the midst of a real rush of changing hormones with real aches in our body, we carry backpacks and bags and boxes and sometimes even children, and we multitask to swiftly pay our bills on the phone at the same time. We recognize the important work that must be done to better ourselves and better the world, and we do that work as mothers, as daughters, as sisters, girlfriends, wives, aunts, cousins, as students, as teachers, as healers, as business workers or owners or officers or writers or dramatists or painters or cleaners or as friends or countless other roles. We make moves for ourselves and we make moves for others. We gather together to get coats of Essie polish on our nails to celebrate each other’s birthday or marriage or new degree. If someone says something hurtful to us or ignores us, we are incredible enough to think in ourselves, “Was there something in this that I could have done to make this person feel badly first?” And then we are awesome enough to hear ourselves, pause, and say to ourselves in reflection, “I should really pay attention to when I unnecessarily impose blame or guilt on myself because I want to be as strong and good of a human and woman as I can be.” When we have a problem with a friend, we are considerate enough to call another friend to ask her or him to listen and hear us and tell us if we did the right or wrong thing and ask them what they think could make it better. Sometimes, we are awesome enough to call on many friends about the same matter of concern over and over again because, well, we care just that much, ha…;) We muster up the vulnerability to say sorry when we feel we were wrong. When we feel hurt, we let the tears roll down our face or let the heat of anger build within us quietly and sometimes we cave and fall. And we bravely allow it. We hear its valuable communication to us. And then, after some undefined time that feels right to our individual, we see the power within the experience and use it to resolve. We mull over words we should or should not say because it stems from a pure place of wanting to help others feel comfortable and feel safe because we respect what others may be experiencing. We blurt out honest words at other times because we respect what others may need to hear. We receive each others’ pain through a text message or voicemail and offer to share a glass of wine or bowls of ice cream in pajamas right away.
We plan gatherings and avoid gatherings and we lead and we sit back and we don’t underestimate the power of a silent but comforting touch. We sometimes, in a state of overwhelming expression of emotion or in a state of overwhelming quiet, really just need a hug or space to watch Gilmore Girls or a bite to eat, and I find that simplicity masked in complexity just beautiful. And we are not afraid to acknowledge the danger of generalizations that we feel could limit humanity’s collective view on how we as part of one large subgroup and may also operate differently and beautifully as individuals, but in doing so we also honor the golden intention behind someone’s large statements and proclamations of love :).
With you, dear women of all places and backgrounds and ways of being, dear one-day-will-grow-up-to-be-women (see brilliance of 6-year-old poet in photo I happened to pass by this morning), dear Self,
I am in so Love with Us.